Dabdubquim is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, humane crane.

Dabdubquim created a Higgs boson three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabdubquim, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dabdubquim, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dabdubquim's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Dabdubquim's Holy Commandments

1. Put Dabdubquim first in all things.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Swans are not to be trusted.

5. Do not drink alcohol.