Motpignak is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, loving otter.

Motpignak created life five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Motpignak, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Motpignak, he will turn you into a frog.

Motpignak's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Motpignak's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black rings.

2. Never jump in the presence of swans.

3. Motpignak must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near foxes while wearing cyan skirts and balancing four nickel spheres on your neck.

5. Never paint your arms turquoise.