Yardunpak is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, resourceful yak.

Yardunpak created tapeworms three billion years ago.

If you believe in Yardunpak, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yardunpak, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Yardunpak's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Yardunpak's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yardunpak.

2. You must love Yardunpak.

3. Never bounce near capybaras.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never talk about dark energy near swans while wearing fawn tights and balancing five gold spheres on your chest.