Flabvadten Bettimstip is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, overgenerous hamster.

Flabvadten Bettimstip created a down quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flabvadten Bettimstip, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flabvadten Bettimstip, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Flabvadten Bettimstip's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Flabvadten Bettimstip's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in the presence of tapirs.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always treat swans with great respect.

5. Never think ill of sick great tits.