Fetcuttambarn is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unthinking armadillo.

Fetcuttambarn created the Sunflower Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetcuttambarn, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fetcuttambarn, it will boil you in a big pot.

Fetcuttambarn's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Fetcuttambarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never wear magenta corsets.

4. Mites are not to be trusted.

5. Do not keep three ducks in a large pit.