Mitcedbest is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, emotional guinea pig.

Mitcedbest created the universe five million years ago.

If you believe in Mitcedbest, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mitcedbest, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Mitcedbest's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Mitcedbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of strawberries to otters while wearing cyan ear rings.

2. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

3. Never feed rice to manatees while wearing skirts.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never write about dark energy.