Pibbaffen is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, flying seal.

Pibbaffen created dark matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Pibbaffen, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Pibbaffen, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Pibbaffen's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Pibbaffen's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray shorts.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Never hurt hamsters.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never feed garlic to mice while wearing indigo scarves.