Vedlipril is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, blissful bat.

Vedlipril created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vedlipril, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vedlipril, he will boil you in a big pot.

Vedlipril's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Vedlipril's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. You must love Vedlipril.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never pour water over plants.