Mumbomvon Bassdidtom is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, two-faced newt.

Mumbomvon Bassdidtom created Mount Everest seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mumbomvon Bassdidtom, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Mumbomvon Bassdidtom, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Mumbomvon Bassdidtom's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Mumbomvon Bassdidtom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near tapirs while wearing mauve stockings and balancing seven carbon spheres on your head.

2. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

4. Do not eat coconuts.

5. Never laugh in holy places.