Flatarmquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, caring jellyfish.

Flatarmquaf created gold seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatarmquaf, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flatarmquaf, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Flatarmquaf's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Flatarmquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not speak about bananas.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.

4. Never talk about dark matter.

5. Flatarmquaf must be the most important thing in your life.