Dubwigbast is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, calm goat.

Dubwigbast created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dubwigbast, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dubwigbast, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Dubwigbast's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Dubwigbast's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Dubwigbast in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never talk about dark energy near cats while wearing purple trousers.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.