Jatcaphak is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, staggering tortoise.

Jatcaphak created oxygen eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatcaphak, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Jatcaphak, it will turn you into a plant.

Jatcaphak's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Jatcaphak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Worship no other gods but Jatcaphak.

4. Do not keep eight otters in a large pit.

5. Never eat green fruit.