Tunbompigyak is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, fast ant.

Tunbompigyak created the Sun eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunbompigyak, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tunbompigyak, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Tunbompigyak's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Tunbompigyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never wear scarves.

4. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

5. Always help great tits.