Arfmadwip is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, selfish otter.

Arfmadwip created the universe two years ago.

If you believe in Arfmadwip, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Arfmadwip, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Arfmadwip's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Arfmadwip's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never wear turquoise stockings.

3. Retreat if three mites approach from the east.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Arfmadwip.

5. Never talk about horses.