Armsitpig is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, clever gnu.

Armsitpig created carbon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Armsitpig, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Armsitpig, she will turn you into a rock.

Armsitpig's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Armsitpig's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat carrots.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Never feed cherries to whales while wearing brown boots.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Armsitpig.