Venspagzod is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, cheerful rat.

Venspagzod created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Venspagzod, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Venspagzod, she will not care.

Venspagzod's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Venspagzod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat apples.

2. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

3. Never paint your arms red.

4. Never write about bacteria.

5. Do not hurt bats.