Tigtensaw Niljiggutkiksitzimyartwod Abbassad is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, competent bat.

Tigtensaw Niljiggutkiksitzimyartwod Abbassad created the planet Venus three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tigtensaw Niljiggutkiksitzimyartwod Abbassad, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tigtensaw Niljiggutkiksitzimyartwod Abbassad, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tigtensaw Niljiggutkiksitzimyartwod Abbassad's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Tigtensaw Niljiggutkiksitzimyartwod Abbassad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Tigtensaw Niljiggutkiksitzimyartwod Abbassad in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never go into brown rooms.

5. Hide from gray cats for they are unholy.