Geptanciss is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, charitable shark.

Geptanciss created dark energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Geptanciss, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Geptanciss, it will turn you into a puffin.

Geptanciss' most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Geptanciss' Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Erect five iron sculptures of Geptanciss on top of important buildings.

5. Do not shave your feet.