Bassnarfadvagkap is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, self-assured walrus.

Bassnarfadvagkap created the Cigar Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Bassnarfadvagkap, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bassnarfadvagkap, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bassnarfadvagkap's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bassnarfadvagkap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not eat pineapples.

3. Never talk about photosynthesis.

4. Never feed corn to manatees while wearing hats.

5. Never go into mauve rooms.