Xemzimfub is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, confident fairy.

Xemzimfub created everything that exists four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemzimfub, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Xemzimfub, she will turn you into a rat.

Xemzimfub's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Xemzimfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near birds while wearing blue hats.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

3. Never feed grapes to bats while wearing skirts.

4. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never eat green fruit.