Labvanbit is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, bad-tempered hedgehog.

Labvanbit created parasitic wasps five billion years ago.

If you believe in Labvanbit, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Labvanbit, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Labvanbit's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Labvanbit's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Labvanbit.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always look after injured squirrels.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Never talk about photosynthesis.