Nilxemdin is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, emotional fish.

Nilxemdin created an atom six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nilxemdin, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nilxemdin, it will think nothing of it.

Nilxemdin's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Nilxemdin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about geese.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near dolphins while wearing turquoise dresses and balancing seven platinum spheres on your arms.

3. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Hide from fawn aardvarks for they are unholy.