Tarceb is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonest chinchilla.

Tarceb created the Large Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarceb, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tarceb, he will boil you in a big pot.

Tarceb's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Tarceb's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Tarceb in the centre of the settlement.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics near capybaras while wearing cyan stockings and balancing eight iron spheres on your head.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Respect your elders.