Yarvadzan is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, unjust dryad.

Yarvadzan created the planet Jupiter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yarvadzan, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yarvadzan, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Yarvadzan's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Yarvadzan's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yarvadzan.

3. Do not speak about aubergines.

4. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.