Metvanyat is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, impressive dryad.

Metvanyat created Mount Everest eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Metvanyat, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Metvanyat, he will think nothing of it.

Metvanyat's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Metvanyat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never wear coats.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Never think ill of sick swans.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.