Fumtapflig is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, fast meerkat.

Fumtapflig created life two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumtapflig, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fumtapflig, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Fumtapflig's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Fumtapflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nebulae.

2. Always wear indigo.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.