Veennegwab is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, cheerful naga.

Veennegwab created bats nine million years ago.

If you believe in Veennegwab, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Veennegwab, she will be very unhappy.

Veennegwab's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Veennegwab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Veennegwab on top of all buildings.

2. Do not take Veennegwab's name in vain.

3. Veennegwab loves whales, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Never talk about dark matter.