Flagnilcat is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, idiotic porpoise.

Flagnilcat created a top quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Flagnilcat, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flagnilcat, it will turn you into a dog.

Flagnilcat's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Flagnilcat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine eagles in a large pit.

2. Erect a giant red sculpture of Flagnilcat in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always obey Flagnilcat's priests.

5. Never mention snakes.