Afbintaf is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, witty cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Afbintaf created viruses two million years ago.

If you believe in Afbintaf, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Afbintaf, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Afbintaf's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Afbintaf's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Afbintaf.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never write about quantum mechanics.

5. Never talk about dark energy near horses while wearing fawn corsets.