Nibvonlopstragbab is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, strong walrus.

Nibvonlopstragbab created energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nibvonlopstragbab, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nibvonlopstragbab, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nibvonlopstragbab's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Nibvonlopstragbab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Never think about spacetime near porpoises while wearing black shoes and balancing four zinc spheres on your face.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never play with disobedient children.