Natmumnutgum is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, witty deer.

Natmumnutgum created the universe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Natmumnutgum, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Natmumnutgum, she will jump up and down on your head.

Natmumnutgum's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Natmumnutgum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Worship no other gods but Natmumnutgum.

3. Never go into purple rooms.

4. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Natmumnutgum on top of all buildings.

5. Natmumnutgum must be the most important thing in your life.