Ganfarflat is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, weak gerbil.

Ganfarflat created carbon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ganfarflat, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ganfarflat, he will turn you into a plant.

Ganfarflat's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Ganfarflat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Ganfarflat's name in vain.

2. Erect five platinum sculptures of Ganfarflat on top of important buildings.

3. You must pray to Ganfarflat nine times a day.

4. Never sing in the presence of seals.

5. Never feed garlic to sharks while wearing cyan ear rings.