Dadgumbiss is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, deceitful wombat.

Dadgumbiss created bats two years ago.

If you believe in Dadgumbiss, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dadgumbiss, he will turn you into a puffin.

Dadgumbiss' most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Dadgumbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never wear fawn rings.

3. Always wear red.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near bats while wearing pink coats and balancing four aluminium spheres on your legs.

5. Dadgumbiss loves porpoises, so they must be respected.