Jipvadnurt is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, weak octopus.

Jipvadnurt created a Higgs boson nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipvadnurt, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jipvadnurt, he will turn you into a hamster.

Jipvadnurt's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Jipvadnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about bacteria.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never talk about nucleic acids.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jipvadnurt.