Gumgovren is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, merciless lizard.

Gumgovren created the Large Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumgovren, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gumgovren, she will jump up and down on your head.

Gumgovren's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Gumgovren's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near sheep while wearing white rings and balancing five aluminium spheres on your face.

2. Never talk about archaea.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never jump in the presence of badgers.

5. Never think about galaxies.