Bep is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, almighty finch.

Bep created humankind nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bep, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bep, he will turn you into a snail.

Bep's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Bep's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six dolphins approach from the north.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always help birds in need.

4. Never go into blue rooms.

5. Never pour water over plants.