Nartbuswon is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, vain fish.

Nartbuswon created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nartbuswon, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nartbuswon, he will turn you into a slug.

Nartbuswon's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Nartbuswon's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. You must love Nartbuswon.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nartbuswon.