Minpogbigmon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, happy newt.

Minpogbigmon created matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Minpogbigmon, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Minpogbigmon, he will turn you into a tree.

Minpogbigmon's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Minpogbigmon's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Minpogbigmon loves horses, so they must be respected.

4. Do not kill grasshopers.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.