Jonstangup is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, ill-tempered sheep.

Jonstangup created the cosmos three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonstangup, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jonstangup, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Jonstangup's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Jonstangup's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear green.

2. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never eat cherries.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.