Wotpongat is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, fast jaguar.

Wotpongat created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotpongat, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Wotpongat, she will try to impress you with trees.

Wotpongat's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Wotpongat's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise corsets.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never think about gravity near snakes while wearing gray shoes and balancing eight zinc spheres on your face.