Sterfabmob Gigdudquart Veenvinstaf is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, merciless hummingbird.

Sterfabmob Gigdudquart Veenvinstaf created bats six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sterfabmob Gigdudquart Veenvinstaf, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sterfabmob Gigdudquart Veenvinstaf, he will turn you into a rock.

Sterfabmob Gigdudquart Veenvinstaf's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Sterfabmob Gigdudquart Veenvinstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Sterfabmob Gigdudquart Veenvinstaf's priests.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Run away if seven hamsters approach from the west.

4. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Sterfabmob Gigdudquart Veenvinstaf in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never look in ponds.