Hapdap is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, bad-tempered chicken.

Hapdap created humanity eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapdap, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hapdap, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Hapdap's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Hapdap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels.

2. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Hapdap on top of all buildings.

4. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hapdap.