Botfutbit is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, stupid clam.

Botfutbit created bats four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Botfutbit, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Botfutbit, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Botfutbit's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Botfutbit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always look after injured whales.

4. Do not take Botfutbit's name in vain.

5. Never pour water over plants.