Gutfetgov is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, selfish ant.

Gutfetgov created water nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutfetgov, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gutfetgov, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Gutfetgov's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Gutfetgov's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into magenta rooms.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Do not hurt dolphins.

5. Never write about gravity.