Jamortmid is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, annoying dolphin.

Jamortmid created the Small Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamortmid, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jamortmid, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Jamortmid's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Jamortmid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never go into blue rooms.

3. Never hurt whales.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Worship no other gods but Jamortmid.