Goftafyog is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, ill-tempered guinea pig.

Goftafyog created the Large Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Goftafyog, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Goftafyog, she will be very sad.

Goftafyog's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Goftafyog's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in the presence of dogs.

2. You must never eat cucumbers.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory.

4. Never hop near goats.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.