Midsagtim is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, vain finch.

Midsagtim created the planet Earth four million years ago.

If you believe in Midsagtim, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Midsagtim, she will turn you into a rock.

Midsagtim's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Midsagtim's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never eat wheat.

3. Do not keep nine mice in a large pit.

4. Never wear tights.

5. Always look after injured turtles.