Quill is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, witless giraffe.

Quill created dark energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quill, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quill, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Quill's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Quill's Holy Commandments

1. Quill loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never think about special relativity.

4. Moths are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never feed pineapples to goats while wearing kilts.