Zodquatcit is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, cheerful hyena.

Zodquatcit created everything that exists five million years ago.

If you believe in Zodquatcit, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Zodquatcit, he will turn you into a rat.

Zodquatcit's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Zodquatcit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Ducks are not to be trusted.

5. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.