Wadjarndit is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, proud seal.

Wadjarndit created oxygen eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wadjarndit, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Wadjarndit, she will not invite you to parties.

Wadjarndit's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Wadjarndit's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cherries to dolphins while wearing mauve jumpers.

2. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

3. Never talk about grasshopers.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always help sick doves.